Crazy Dancing to Billy Joel!
Oh, man, I think I would be insane if I couldn't crazy dance to Billy Joel. Well, some may question my sanity now, but I would be even a crazier blob of compact emotions and thoughts than I currently am, if I didn't take the time to stay up late, put in a CD, and jump up and down headbanging all over my room. Its almost as refreshing as going to Breathe.
This evening, after I got home from the studio and VOB, I went and layed down in the snow for a few minutes. I've wanted to do it every night I've gotten home, and tonight, I said, "screw it, if I fall asleep, freeze, and die, I fall asleep, freeze, and die." So I did, not die, but layed down, and it was really nice- really cold, but really nice. I actually considered going back out after I brought my things inside. The snow was pretty firm, but melted just enough for my body to fit perfectly into it.
"Some people stay far away from a door, if there's a chance of it opening up. They hear a voice in the hall and hope that it just passes by..."
Ok, sorry, good song. But yes, it was just wonderful, and everything was glittery, and even the sky was bright, because of all the light reflecting off of the snow back onto the clouds. It was freezing, but I liked it, because I've felt so completely numb this year, it felt really nice to have my breath taken away by a really cold night air, or the feeling of snow melting behind my knees.
Pastor Marsha called today, and I am now giving my faith story at a Lent service in March, and I'm utterly terrified. I can barely give a little presentation in English without my voice and body shaking. And my faith story? I'm sorry, but I've been a pretty $#!++y Christian the past few years. How hypocritical is that? to be speaking to the people that actually go to Lent services about my relationship with God? Aaaahhhhh, poo on bad priorities, and lifestyles that become a statistic.
I've been pretty bummed about a lot of things, lately, and I know an attitude change can probably fix that, but its the pretending to be so happy here all the time that gets me upset.
Lol, probably not a very good thing for Miss Crox to say on the world wide web, but thats the truth. I wish I could say that all of the wonderful blessings and good fortune I've been given make me as happy as can be, but they don't, because I don't want everything I get in life to be handed to me on a silver platter. I live for and appreciate single moments, like laying in the snow, crazy dancing with friends, or even waking up from a decent nap, because I don't have the time to appreciate them as constant entities that are always available to me. Sigh. Lol. Silly Alex.
Well, I'm losing writing momentum, so I think I may head out and do whatever it is that people do at night. Whats the word, again? Oh, sleep. Right. Well, yes, sweet dreams and all that stuff. Muah!
This evening, after I got home from the studio and VOB, I went and layed down in the snow for a few minutes. I've wanted to do it every night I've gotten home, and tonight, I said, "screw it, if I fall asleep, freeze, and die, I fall asleep, freeze, and die." So I did, not die, but layed down, and it was really nice- really cold, but really nice. I actually considered going back out after I brought my things inside. The snow was pretty firm, but melted just enough for my body to fit perfectly into it.
"Some people stay far away from a door, if there's a chance of it opening up. They hear a voice in the hall and hope that it just passes by..."
Ok, sorry, good song. But yes, it was just wonderful, and everything was glittery, and even the sky was bright, because of all the light reflecting off of the snow back onto the clouds. It was freezing, but I liked it, because I've felt so completely numb this year, it felt really nice to have my breath taken away by a really cold night air, or the feeling of snow melting behind my knees.
Pastor Marsha called today, and I am now giving my faith story at a Lent service in March, and I'm utterly terrified. I can barely give a little presentation in English without my voice and body shaking. And my faith story? I'm sorry, but I've been a pretty $#!++y Christian the past few years. How hypocritical is that? to be speaking to the people that actually go to Lent services about my relationship with God? Aaaahhhhh, poo on bad priorities, and lifestyles that become a statistic.
I've been pretty bummed about a lot of things, lately, and I know an attitude change can probably fix that, but its the pretending to be so happy here all the time that gets me upset.
Lol, probably not a very good thing for Miss Crox to say on the world wide web, but thats the truth. I wish I could say that all of the wonderful blessings and good fortune I've been given make me as happy as can be, but they don't, because I don't want everything I get in life to be handed to me on a silver platter. I live for and appreciate single moments, like laying in the snow, crazy dancing with friends, or even waking up from a decent nap, because I don't have the time to appreciate them as constant entities that are always available to me. Sigh. Lol. Silly Alex.
Well, I'm losing writing momentum, so I think I may head out and do whatever it is that people do at night. Whats the word, again? Oh, sleep. Right. Well, yes, sweet dreams and all that stuff. Muah!
posted by Alex at 8:31 PM
1 Comments:
I really like this post the Alex. It makes me really happy. And I wouldn't worry about the attitude change too much as of yet. I think it will be alot easier once you're out. Look at last years seniors
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