So.....right.

So, I decided today that I really like Mr. D. And not just because I'm using this blog for his English class. He never really reads them anyway, I don't think, hopefully not, since I just said that he didn't. Lol. But yes, he's really nice about my poetry, (I've switched to Creative Writing this semester, if you didn't already know) even though most of it is pretty crappy. And even if I'm just having a bad day, his class makes it better. Its one of the few that I actually don't think I'm wasting my time in. Creative Writing, Physics, and Art Sem. And Study Hall. Lol. What an eclectic set of classes to be appreciative of. Hm, it makes me giggle. But english teachers are always the cool ones...Ms. Myers, Miss Solie...well, Mrs. O, now, Barton...man, I swear I learned more about grammar and sentence structure in his class than I did in any of the years preceding my year with him. And even though my research paper on "Marie Roget" was pure hell, I repeat, pure hell, to write, I learned a lot. And got a glimpse of what college is going to be like. Yay! I filled out my housing application, and my commitment to the dance program today. Yay! I'm actually going to be leaving relatively soon! Yay! I'm a little worried about being able to fit in everything that I want to do in 4 years, though. Lol, but then I'm also a little worried about fitting everything I want to do into a single lifetime. Hahaha, I think I may have to become a guardian angel for people in other countries, after I die, just so I get to see all of them sometime. Oh, play auditions happened, I'll honestly admit I'm kinda sad, 'cause I would have liked a bigger part, but its all good. The fairy's are all my good friends, basically, and The Betso is Titania, and so we get to work with her a lot, I'm assuming, which will be so cool. I think having a small part with people I love is better than I large part working with several people I'm not particularily fond of. So I'm thinking this is a good thing. And fairies get glitter. Lots and lots and lots and lots of glitter. Ok, I need to go and do about ten thousand things before tomorrow morning, so, Muah!

I Have a crush on the Starbucks man.

Ok, so not really. I just find it sad that I got to Grand Forks so infrequently, but while I'm there, I go to Starbucks so consistently that I can recognize the staff working there. Especially the nice fellow that was working there today. He's been working the past couple times I've gone. I got a delicious Tazo Chai Creme Frappacino, for myself, and then, ten minutes later, my mom sends me back to get exactly the same thing. Mr. Starbucks laughed at me when he saw me, and then laughed even more when I ordered the exact same thing, with nearly exact change, because I had just ordered it. And I'm pretty sure he thought I was buying it for myself. Oh, well. It was fun. At least I'm not on a first name basis with all of the staff members yet. So, yes, today, I went shopping with my mom- (God bless Betso for teaching those girls alone!)- and found clothes that may work for my solo- oh! which is "Don't Make Me Wait" by Seal. Its a very comfortable costume if Job lets me wear it, and very simple in a casual, yet elegant sort of a way. I also bought some clothes that nearly guarantee awful tan lines in Florida, and then just some adorable things that both my mom and I fell in love with. Oh! and two dresses, one I think I'll wear for Easter, and the other I'll wear while posing for a lingerie catalog. Lol, no, its not that bad, its just really silky and just-darker-than-my-skin colored, and looks cool with my hair. The Easter one inspired me to vow that when I get married, I'm going to have a subtly-striped wedding dress with silk and pretty buttons- lol. But, yes, sorry to have bored you, but I'm so excited to be able to go shopping, and I'm really excited for my new solo! ( I may like this one more than "My Funny Valentine", which is pretty tough to beat.) So, yes, I need to go- I was just printing of a poem for CW, and got distracted. Bad Alex! Bye, for real now. Muah!

*extra big sigh*

So, things didn't really work out for the better- they're not any worse, just in the same spot. But more confusing. I've had sort of a rough day today. Well, it wasn't really a rough day for me, well, physically it was, 'cause I think my body really is starting to hate that I dance, but everything else was fine, its just, a lot of other people have been having a bad couple of weeks or months, and chose today to tell me about it. I get so close to solving my problems, and then hear how much worse everyone else's problems are, so I put mine on hold. A normal thing, that everyone does at some point, but when you're so close to reaching a resolution, and then stop, its just kinda a bummer. Its like running a race, and knowing that you could win, and then having to stop inches from the finish line. *sigh* And the person that I really need to talk to isn't so easily reached from where I sit. Lol- One day, this will all make sense to you all, if it doesn't already- but I need to say something , while being discrete at the same time. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! Lol. Ok, I feel I only like a big sigh now, rather than an extra big sigh.

We had a friend of my dad's, a fellow doctor, who is a Muslim woman, listen to my 'Harem' solo song, and she found the whole song offensive (and rightfully so) so now I'm doing a really cool moderny piece to an R&B song I don't know the title of. But its cool, no doubt. ;) I'm so insanely excited for Dance Olympus. I know the workshops have been going downhill sort of, but its always been fun, and the competition is organized better, and we get to go shopping!!!!!!! I'm really excited for that- speaking of, I should get my paycheck into the bank. ;) Plus, I really like the Thunderbird- it smells like chlorine, which doesn't smell expensive like other hotels. But, most importantly, I may get to see my good friends Elizabeth and Brent, with whom I really need a nice long walk and talk with. Lol. I miss you guys, if you're reading this!

Well, I'm going to leave now. I really like Mary and Job. Dang lovable people that they are. And I vow not to refer to dance as "hell" until at least the next competition. ;) Pray for people that have problems. Lol, so everyone. Bye . Muah!

*sigh*

I really am very happy right now, I just feel like a nice *sigh*. I'm a little confused about some things lately, but hopefully everything works out for the best. It generally does...or else I just assume that it all works out for the best without ever really knowing anything different.

Chicago was wonderful; the competition went as expected, and the workshop was great, and the everything-else part of it was fantastic! The Art Institute was really wonderful- we saw Renior, Monet, Manet, Picasso, Matisse, Degas, Van Gogh, etc., and the really big one with all the little dots, that I can never remember, the name of, or who painted it- but that one was cool too. We (Betso-the-I-like-to-lose-15-lbs-in-4-days-girl, my mom, and I) went out to eat with Job and Mary- and I had Blackened Catfish, and Taramisu for dessert, (why is it I always remember the food, if nothing else, on a trip?) and they were fabulously delicious, as I hadn't eaten a real meal in a couple of days. Sunday morning was a blast, despite the rain and cold wind from the lake (there's a reason its called the windy city!) We went shopping in all the right stores, and took pictures in one with crazy wigs, hats, and t-shirts! Then, we went for a walk in the park-like area by the lake, and took more pictures, and I've never been so glad to be away from Crox. The lake air was sooo fresh and crisp, and even though it was cold, it was more of a late-fall cold, than depressing winter cold. The train was fun, even though the ride back wasn't very comfy, as my seat wouldn't recline. It was fun hanging out with my dancer-friends though- we need more times like that, when we can get together and just hang out, rather than seeing each other at our worst (at dance) all the time.

Ummmm...but right, I think I'll go, and if I happen to spotaneously combust in my sleep, I love y'all, a whole lot, and I really don't think you're anorexic Betso ;) Tee hee. Muah!

They're sharing a drink called loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone...

Hahaha- Yay for long titles for blogs. Well, we leave for Chicago tomorrow, and I no longer have a death wish, because dances always look way cooler with costumes, especially our dances, except for "Diamonds", with the 80's-like-almost-thong-but-not-quite-leotards. At least they're sparkly. "Vertigo" looks amazingly cool with our ripped suits ensemble. Mine was inspired by the Hulk. Haha! And I think that one has Best Costume in the bag, except for maybe Lion King. My costume for "Circle of Life" is especially fantastic, as everyone says I look like a witch doctor, but I think I look like Maya Angelou. Except for the fact that I'm not a black woman. But, otherwise....haha, no, I just think the colors are vibrant, like something she would wear. So I decided that my storytelling character is to be modeled half after Rafiki, and half after Maya Angelou. How twisted. Umm....I love "My Funny Valentine" costume, as it is our old "I'll Be" costume, and there is no need for worry about body parts falling out. "Ghost" we still haven't seen, even though we are leaving tomorrow. "Mein Heir" is quite cool- all black, with red lipstick, ummm...oh, and I-Hate-"Peace on Earth", and "The World" both perfectly fine and perfectly non-exciting. But I guarantee that there will be pictures of our "Vertigo" and "Circle of Life" costumes. Even if I'm the only one in them. Lol.

Speaking of no longer having a death wish, I think I rid myself of that hope when I had a dream, basically about Armageddon, the other night. And no, not "Armageddon" the movie, like, the actual end of the world. It was sooooo amazingly cool. The dream started out kinda in Amando's front yard, except with a little different look, and it was night, and I saw a black spot in the sky that light would bend around. (A black hole- and yes, I know that its totally not possible, but it looked soooo cool!) And really, my first thought was "oh, schnitzenpoodle" (even though that wasn't exactly the language I used) and then I thought "what can we do?" and quickly realized the answer was nothing, so I accepted and enjoyed. The black whole kept getting bigger, and lightning and clouds would bend away and around into it- shut your mouth, my subconscious is way cooler than science. And when I turned around, Amando's house had turned into a college or something, filled with people that looked familiar, like I knew them all once from camps, or other things, but I couldn't remember their names. There were a couple Crox people there, too, and I think maybe one of our teachers- I want to say Bittner, but maybe thats because of the "stick your head between your legs and kiss your heinie goodbye" speech we all remember so well. Maybe it was Davidson....or Stegman....I don't know, but yes, I remember not being that upset about it- the Crox people were all people that I needed to tell something important to before we all died, and I remember praying a lot, not so much to stop the Black Hole, just hoping that it would be quick, and that I wouldn't go to hell. Nerves of steel, I have. Lol, not really. But yea, everyone was obviously a little nervous, but wonderfully rational, and accepting that we couldn't do anything about it, and there were little mini-parties, all around. I went for a walk, (thats how I saw all these things) and then the Black Hole got really close, and then I was awakened by the coffee-maker or something, cuz I had to get up. Hahaha. I actually really liked this dream. If you saw the stuff going on in the sky that I saw in my dream, you'd think it'd be a pretty cool end to earth, too. And its not as weird or scary as my Bouncing-nazi-people-on-burning-bodies-with-conspiring-mom-and-little-brother dream, or the one where my mom is walking towards me with snake eyes, and I can't scream, or get up from lying down, or the one where I'm about to get raped, but never actually do. I've had all these more than once, too. Hmm...I think Freud would have something to say about my mom's part in my dreams. Oh, well. Stupid Freud. He's almost as stupid as Nitschze. I like my mom. Most of the time.

So, I've been thinking lately, is it really wrong of me to not really like the idea of pledging allegiance to a flag ? I mean, goodness, I'd rather pledge allegiance to the country, or its citizens, or something. I'd almost (almost , not quite) prefer to pledge allegiance to the President, regardless of how I felt about his policies, then pledge allegiance to a piece of fabric. I just don't get it. I mean, I know its symbolic, and all that stuff, but why can't we pledge allegiance directly to the United States, or the people that live here? *Sigh* Oh, well.

But yes, its 1:30, and I still wish to type out my "vig-nette" for CW, and I have to pack, do homework, and clean my entire room before I have to start getting ready for KB tomorrow. Hahaha.

Betso's sick. Pray for the Betso. Cuz, not to be selfish or anything, ;) , but if she doesn't come to Chicago, we're sooooo screwed. Lol. Get better, the Betso! Muah!